Had a ball of a time...

Last night we had our annual Fraternal Order of Police (FOP) Reverse Raffle Dinner.

Each ticket was $60 for a single and $85 for a couple. It included your dinner (fruit salad, lettuce salad, rolls, roast beef, ham, chicken, green beans, red potatoes, pasta, and dessert trays) which was great by the way, open bar, DJ and a chance to win the prize of $3,000. Not a bad deal. There were also sideboards where you could buy tickets to win $200, $300, & $500 dollar prizes. You purchased these tickets for $2.00, $3.00, & $5.00 respectively. So it's pretty cheap in all honesty.

This was my first year that I actually went. Last year I just participated in preparations for the event. The dinner started at 6PM and I got there at 3:30PM to help set up things prior to our guests arriving. I walk into the banquet hall and it is stunning. I didn't think it'd be so nice!! So it seems like chaos when I got there. Most everyone didn't have a clue as to what was going on... I decide to take charge, which I normally do anyways and say what do you need done? Let's get this going!! There was a lot of trepidation about the table assignments. Who goes where?? I said let me do it, I could care-less where people sit. I have planned enough weddings to be able to handle the stress... I don't know half of these people, I have no conflicting interest! I then walk into the hall and say this is where everyone is sitting... NEXT! (It did take a bit of time as some tables needed to be grouped together) After setting up other various things the group of people who was there to help ate before any guests had arrived. I am glad that they recommend we do that as I wouldn't have eaten the entire night otherwise.

After we were done eating it was time to welcome all of our guests... I was the second person in charge of checking in people and collecting money. I had over $5,000 in my till and was having $100 bills thrown at me like it was my job. (Note to self-- change professions) I was able to greet every person that walked through the door. And boy where there some weird ones!!! It's like going to a wedding; you have your typical people come. The sluttiest person and I believe there was like a 3-way tie!! Your usual hillbilly (sorry no offense to anyone). I have a hillbilly for a brother-in-law. This woman looked really terrible... Belly shirt and forgot to wear her teeth!! EW! Then there were people dressed very nicely.

For this dinner we have 200 seats/tickets. We didn't sell about 30 of them for dinner and for this reverse raffle you need to sell all of them so we sold the remaining tickets for $35 a piece for an equal chance to win $3,000. We had two tickets.

How it works is there are 200 numbers called and the 1st ticket drawn wins $100, the 195th ticket wins $100 and there were 45 prizes randomly picked for the numbers in between. For the remaining 5 numbers the ticket holders have the choice to pool their chances together or to be greedy. The 5 remaining people for all of the "boards" (Main Board, $2.00, $3.00, & $5.00) decided to poll their chances together and split the winnings equally. So a lot of people left a winner! Our number was called first so we won $100 and we also won 2 hours of simulation golf at Dave and Busters for 4 people. We still have a ton of credits on our players card so that could be an interesting night out. The rate we are going we could do it again for New Years since that's where we went last year. The rest of our table we sold tickets to didn't win anything which was disappointing, but hey... We won!! YEAH!!

After the big prizes were gone we moved onto what my FOP Lodge did... We make themed gift baskets and they are raffled off as a Chinese raffle. You buy tickets and they draw the winning tickets. We had a ton of them, Browns Basket, Gaming Basket, Gamblers Basket, Tools Basket, Liquor Basket, Sex Basket, Mystery Basket for the Men and Women, Coffee Basket, Chocolate Basket, Crafters Basket, Spa Basket to name a few. I did the Browns Basket and the Gaming Basket this year and they made out really well. They were our top two baskets for profit! Go Melissa!! Last year my baskets were a hit too, so I was pleased to see the reactions of the winners. I know it's weird I did a Browns Basket considering I am a Packer fan, but it was fun. I had a portable grill, beer, snack mixes, brownie mix (Hence the Cleveland Browns), dog bones for the Dawg Pound, etc. So it was a fun basket to make. The game basket was fun too, but I didn't think I did as good as a job like I did last year as far as the games. Next year it will be much better!! So we had 12 winners for these baskets and we were able to party afterwards!!

At this point of the night I drank almost an entire bottle of Amaretto, life was good, real good!! I was able to do some mingling after 9PM with our group of freinds and others that I met during the evening. Like this guy named Frank... He was a really nice guy, but couldn't figure him out to save my life. I was talking to one of my girlfriends earlier in the evening about how I wanted to wear this skirt and I for the life of me could not find it. It's a woman thing, losing your clothes when you want to wear them!! So I ended up in pants, as usual. So Frank comes up to me and comments that he will never know if I have good legs or not since I didn't wear a skirt. I confidently told him; yes I do have nice legs... He said you aren't wearing a garter or anything else... Um, no, not with pants on, but I'd consider with a skirt... whatever!! I then comment on his very nice watch and he tells me that I have to see his wife’s jewelry when I have a chance. So I ended up meeting his wife and her jewelry... To comment on that, she's got a good man to buy her nice things!! I ended up and asked the President of our FOP Lodge, Bob to dance as his wife isn't able to do that type of thing due to medical reasons. We go out on the dance floor and he's twirling me around, how fun was that?! And while we are dancing he's thanking me for all of my help, which wasn't a problem at all. I had a good time doing it.

At midnight our night was over at the banquet hall... The stragglers ended up at a dive bar about 2 miles away. We put in some good tunes in the juke box rocking out to Van Halen, Bad Company, Blue Oyster Cult, Aerosmith, Def Leopard, Bon Jovi to name a few! RAWK OUT!! While at the bar I had an endless glass of my Amaretto Sour... Before I knew it I was at 6!!! Within an hour or so! I was beginning to feel sick! But while playing sex hangman it was great!!
Some words we came up with were... Muff Diver, Vibrator, Sodomy, Titty Fuck, Road Skull, Reverse Cowgirl to name a few. We had a huge group of people there so it was a lot of fun especially while half drunk!! Before we left I took some pictures with some of the officers and my husband's higher ranking officers came up to me hugged me in a cuddling type way and pulled my shirt down reveling some bust action to take a pic! I will have to post various pics once they are sent to me via e-mail.

Ok... so this was really long... Thanks for making it through this and my hangover!

Friday Funny... (v.1)

This was pretty funny!!

She speaks Spanish

This evening we took Emily out to dinner. We went to a Chinese place... It's new and the food is pretty good.

The waitress came to our table and asked if we wanted refills on our water. We all agreed and handed over our glasses, the waitress walks away.

Emily then says very loudly after she left, "She speaks Spanish!!" Oh the cute things children say!!

Volunteers... At times are a hindrance !

Well yesterday was an interesting day... I had to go to the hospital radiology department for an x-ray, again, I am ok... Not dying!I have only been to this particular hospital maybe a total of 3 times as I have my own area favourites. So I walk into the hospital and already I don't have a clue where I am going so I try to find the information desk. Ok, good, I found it. The volunteers tell me I have to go to Outpatient Services. I walk over to Outpatient Services and there is a sign to check in at the desk, which I would assume to be the desk behind the glass. So I lean around the glass and ask the lady is this where I sign in? She said no... Across the hall, the whole 3 feet, there is a desk, check in with the lady there. Ah... ok. So I walk across the hall and the lady is so old it's not even funny. She can't hear to save my own soul. So to go against all Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) So she asks my name, Melissa, M-E-L-I-S-S-A. How many L's? One L two S's. What are you here for? I couldn't believe they asked me that in front of everyone else!!! I wanted to say I am here for my communicable disease testing. So I tried to be vague and say for Radiology which sufficed to say the least. So the volunteer said please have a seat and they will call you up in a minute. I don't even get my ass on the seat and the first lady behind the glass is calling me and telling me it's ok to come over. I sit down to pre-register and give the lady my social security number and she can't figure out why mine is so different... Mine starts with a 3 since I am not from the area originally. Most people in this area of Ohio start with a 2. So I essentially had to shout to her it's not 2 it's 3!! DAMN people, pay attention!! The lady behind the glass tells me that I am all set and I can go straight to Radiology.

I meander my way to the Radiology Department. I tried walking up to the window until I was greeted by another volunteer!! How many of them are there here! Holy shit! The lady gets into my face and asks me can I help you? Um, yeah... I am here for an x-ray. Well what's your name? Melissa *******. I shit you not she leans into the window to the lady asking if Melissa ******* was on the schedule. What are you here for Melissa? I then say I can't even enunciate it. She leans in again and says I don't know what it is! Don't these people realize that others want PRIVACY?! Once my appointment is confirmed, because I am lying about having this procedure done I am walked to another desk about 4 feet away this time to sign my consent forms. I sign the form and sit down. Approximately 5 minutes later the same lady comes to me and tells me my doctor is running late and it should be about an additional 15 minute wait time. Fifteen minutes for my doctor is nothing. So I was complacent and said I will take my cards as they fall.

The whole point of this post is why do they have volunteers doing all of the work?? Why aren't these hospital staff working and earning their money? I mean how do you keep track of what is going on when you aren't even thinking for yourself? How hard would it have been for me to lean into the glass and speak on my own behalf and maintain some dignity?It's nice that the elderly are trying to get out and keep their brains functioning and to still be involved in the community, but I don't want Grandma Mable knowing what is going on in my own personal life let alone anyone else waiting in the waiting room at the time. What happened to card games or shopping? You have already paid your debt to society... Let go, have fun, relax and enjoy your years!