26 years ago...

Today marks the 26th anniversary that I lost my dad... It is the 26th anniversary on the 26th day of the month. It's just weird. I never thought that the numbers would climb so high. I honestly never thought I would outlive my father. It was a fear I had growing up. That fear almost broke up my marriage. But with some help I got through it. Now I feel that I can face most anything with a different perspective. Every year that goes by, I feel that I have taken some sort of life experience that [I feel] my dad would have wanted me to endure. And for the most part I feel that I have taken them in stride.

I talk to my dad's brothers and sisters and they all miss him terribly. They speak of him like one would speak of God. It just really makes me wish I could have known my dad for more than 4 years. Those 4 years I have clung onto for dear life trying not to overwrite any memories with new ones. Because I just don't want to forget. I can't. But as time passes by it just seems like it all was a dream. Most of my life my father has been a dream, he's been in my dreams. I have had to invision him in the majority of my childhood experiences all the way to today. I would give anything for him to hug my kids. And for once not to explain to Emily that Grandpa is in heaven.

Those are all of my selfish thoughts.... But for now... I must rest easy knowing that my father is in heaven and he is with my family and I every day. And I have to dig deep for one of his hugs that only I remember.

Drive-by Post

I have been slacking at blogging lately! Life has been keeping my family and I have been very busy.


I am going to shoot off a bullet point list of happenings:

• We are fast approaching the Fraternal Order of Police dinner in a few weeks. Some friends are coming in from Michigan, New Hampshire and Wisconsin for the event so I am very excited to entertain a houseful.
• I have been cooking/baking a lot lately and I have been loving it!
• I am starting to do fall cleaning and de-cluttering. I hate doing it but I feel good shedding shit we don't need anymore.
• Living in Ohio I can't handle the advertisements anymore! I can't wait for this damn election to be over.
  
• The economy in the state it is in scares the shit out of me.
  
• I am SO happy the price of gas has gone down!

That's all I can think of for now....