Let's Ring in the New Year!!

Another New Year another year for resolutions and reviews...

I have been thinking of resolutions and this is what I have come up with...

I want to get the most out of 2006, but who doesn't want that.

  1. I want to concentrate on my own family. I want to be able to rise above the situation at hand concerning my mother. After deliberating about what to do I think I did the best thing. I wrote her a thank you note for the gift to Em. I kept it short and sweet. Thank you for the gift for Em. She really liked it... Melissa. That was it. I felt cleansed in a sense.
  2. I do want to finish losing the weight I have been at a plateau at. I enjoy working out so it shouldn't be a problem!
  3. I want to get a better job and be happy in what I do, again.
  4. Try to be more patient.
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As far as movies go... I didn't see a whole heck of a lot of movies this year... but this is what I saw in 2005. Oh, and mind you I see a lot of kids movies with the little one!

  1. Madagascar
  2. Robots
  3. Assault on Precinct 13
  4. Hostage
  5. Are We There Yet?
  6. Phantom of the Opera
  7. The Pacifier
  8. Meet the Fockers
  9. Lemony Snickets, A Series of Unfortunate Events
  10. In Good Company
  11. Coach Carter
  12. Hitch
  13. Monster-in-Law
  14. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
  15. Mr. & Mrs. Smith (Yes, I helped pay for Brad's divorce)
  16. 40 Year Old Virgin
  17. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
  18. Fun with Dick and Jane
  19. Chicken Little
Choosing from this spectacular list my ultimate favorites are as follows by category:

Children's:
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Robots
Lemony Snickets, A Series of Unfortunate Events

Adult:
Coach Carter
Assault on Precinct 13

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Worst music of 2005...

If I hear another song by Green Day I am going to vomit!

Black Eyed Peas... Anything by them just sucks... It's a bit catchy at first and then you'd rather hit your head against a brick wall a few hundred times.

D4L... We are now using sweets for music. LAME!

50 Cent... Ok, his music is very, very sexual, which is ok... But is that ALL you think about?? Let's rap about the bling or something!

Gwen Stefani... THANK YOU! Thank you! I can now spell B-A-N-A-N-A-S while singing your song... Just did it even to make sure of proper spelling! What a great fucking cheer! Go back to No Doubt!

Pussycat Dolls... Ok, I saw these tramps in Vegas before they were popular... They weren't good then and they aren't good now. The only good part of their Don't Cha song was Busta Rhymes!

Madonna... Hang it up! You are too old for us anymore... You look great, but give up the singing.

Kelly Clarkson... I love you girl... but you are on overkill right now!! Lay low for 5 minutes or something!



My favorite albums this year were Breaking Benjamins, 30 Seconds to Mars, Staind, Disturbed, Seether, Rise Against and Taproot! I listen to a bunch of other music, but these were worthy of my blog!

Happy New Year everyone... Be safe!

Oh and don't forget 2005 will be the longest year of your life as we have a leap second... What the fuck is that all about?!

So long 2005...

Bring on

A "what" car??

Yesterday while driving I am rushed as usual... I had to go 4 different places within an hour before heading to the movie theatre to see Narnia.

The entire time I am going on and on about being so busy during my vacation that I haven't had a chance to relax, blah, blah, blah... Em and I are out and about and out of nowhere she says something about the Chevrolet Malibu in front of me... Now mind you I knew what sex was "supposed" to be driving, but she says out loud that guy is driving a CHICK CAR!

What a waste of a perfectly good El Camino!! But thought it looked good!

Now as a business person who used to work in the automotive industry I know what vehicles are used most for business purposes and an approximate ratio of Domestic vehicles that are driven for this purpose. The Malibu is one of them... So the guy was a bit young, yes... But I almost pissed my pants laughing. I have never talked about Chick Cars, ever... as I am a chick, but of course! So my 4 year old again is proving that is wise beyond her years!

Here's my top 10 for chick cars...

10. Pontiac Sunfire


9. Mitsubishi Eclipse













8. Chevrolet Aveo


7. Volkswagen Cabriolet-- I wanted one of these!!












6. Mazda Miata

5. Ford Escape














4. Ford Focus

3. Chrysler Sebring












2. Pontiac Vibe

1. Volkswagen Bug - *bleh*

My very first attempt at a movie review...

Well... I followed the bandwagon and finally saw Narnia. What a great movie. I cried as usual! I cry everytime I see Pretty Woman or The Lion King! I am such a sap! And the funny thing is the movies never change, so I know what is going to happen!

I had seen things on television noting how Narnia was similar to the Passion of the Christ directed by Mel Gibson for children and to be honest I was skeptical about it. But after seeing Narnia I see how some of the characters portrayed certian parts of biblical times. I was rather impressed how it wasn't very preechy, if that's a word... The undertones made the movie and really made you think. For example the devil was portrayed as a woman and the ice castle in the back of the poster... Meaning hell freezing over... That type of thing.

My four-year-old daughter encouraged me to see the movie and I am glad she did. She said the movie was awesome and mom agrees, but from a different level! There were a few parts that were a bit scary even for me like things jumping out of no where... but who doesn't jump for that stuff!!! And what a perfect time of year to come out than Christmas! When you are supposed to be thankful and appreciative of your family and friends.

*On a side note... I think Disney is trying to redeem themselves for losing their contract with Pixar a year or so ago... I think with the Narnia series it will do just that. It seems as if they are getting away from animation for a bit though and concentrating on "real life actors", if you will.

Pissy Packer Christmas!

The one thing I wanted from Santa was a win for the Packers... I know... I wasn't asking for much, but obviously the man at the North Pole thought I must have been a bad girl this year and got stuffed with coal! GRRR!! Instead we get the raw end of the urinal!



I think if they get rid of Ryan Fucking Longwell life will be good... For the love man! The team busts their ass to drive the ball down the field and all you have to do is kick the damn thing inbetween to yellow posts! From less than 40 yards... That's cake! To whoever has Longwell on their fantasy football league... I pity the fool! I hope you end up where Chris Jacke is...





The only good thing was I saw a lot of my buddy Kevin! He looks so good playing on the field! Always brings back memories of high school... Oh those were the days... Kevin, cheers and Merry Christmas to you!!






Guess they don't suck! They played a good game and deserved to win...

New Tenant...

I have a new tenant for the week... Balla from South Africa is an amazing person I have met in the blogging world. Him and his wife are expecting their first son, Malcom, very soon.

Pretty soon Aunt JTL is going to go down under, so to speak, and visit to babysit in their beautiful country and can't forget the baby!!!

Please check him out by clicking his thumbnail on the right sometime during the week and let him know I sent you!!!

Thanks!!

Merry "Politically Correct" CHRISTmas!!!

I got this link from a friend of mine... I was literally in tears laughing my ass off because of the truths to it... I am adding the Parental Advisory button since it's not for virgin ears... ENJOY! And Merry CHRISTmas!!



What happened to customer service???

As an American this past week I have noticed first hand how all of "our" jobs have gone overseas... I have had to call two different places for help and have ended up in the Middle East, India and the Philippines... Thankfully the Philippinos are the only people I could understand... I do understand that corporations must hire people that in the end will save them money. We all have a bottom line that has to be met. But when you have a breakdown in communication to where you want to move your business... That's bad. You poor people working overseas for like a dollar an hour...




This week I had issues with my XM Radio... I won't get into specifics, but they decided to give me the shaft. Great!! My favourite thing!!! Bend over Mrs. JTL!! We know you like it!! And just because you like it so much we will give it to you again for good measure! After trying to get answers from a zillion people, I finally was able to speak to a nice gentleman in Atlanta, Georgia AKA the MOTHERLAND! I was so happy while talking to him I could barely talk! I was joking around with him and it sounded like he couldn't catch his breath! Ahh... The humour of being pissed off!! He helped me out a lot and gave me a months worth of free service for my time for being on the phone which was 6 times in 3 days... Time is money and when I am on the phone effing around with you dipshits I am not getting anywhere! It's always good to threaten to leave and go to Sirius too!!

Next issue was with Amazon.com or Santa's workshop supposedly... Well I placed an order on the 17th and was promised delivery by today the 23rd of all items... I received two boxes with one item in each box. The remaining items ended up being lost in transit from the pick up to who knows where... After calling over 6 hours to Amazon.com's unlisted 800# that I found I was told the package had been lost. Oh great! Now I need to schlep my ass out in the cold to the psycho last minute Christmas shopping wolves?? Are you crazy?? I was so upset I was in tears. I told the girl I was talking to in Vancouver that I have been buying stuff from Amazon.com for nearly 6 years and all I get is an apology?? She's like I can offer you $25 for the inconvenience... Well that's not too bad... So I take it. Then I realize that they charge my debit card twice for the same thing that ended up MIA! So, now I am going to spend 3 times what I wanted to spend for Christmas. Thanks an effing lot! Just so you all know... I am made of money and I have found that secret money tree in my backyard. Y yeah, while building my house I asked the builder not to get rid of the tree... And for those who may be thinking of it... My number is unlisted!

Holiday shopping goes right through me. The rudness of people makes me absolutely insane! Then you get them behind the wheel in a vehicle... Fucking forget about it! You are signing your own death sentence. While shopping today I saw an old Chevy Camaro crashed into a light pole near the mall in an obscure position... Looked like someone ran him off of the road, which wouldn't surprise me at all. Tonight while at Wal-Mart, holy hillbillies!! There were people having family reunions in the toy department... Come'on people! Get together in your roach infested trailer homes and bullshit! I have shopping to do... I am beginning to wonder why I shop there...

There will be a post forthcoming about other interesting experience regarding Wal-Mart... Hang tight! It's pretty gross, er, funny!


Alright... I must call it an evening... I am super tired from shopping and wrapping 35 million gifts!

Merry Christmas -- Adult Style!!

What not to do in sub-zero weather!!

Final destination... the New Switzerland...

Thanks to my good friend Ms. S'ghetti for giving me the name of this post for my readers!!

This is going to be more of a serious post... As I look to you, my friends for advice... I look at my blog as my release from my daily rituals of whatever is going on in the moment.

This upcoming holiday has been very hard for me to handle for many reasons, much of which I will not elaborate on here to maintain some sort of privacy!! Sorry! But there are a few things that I need to let off of my chest here to feel a bit better... I do realize that this is my side of the story and there are always two sides, but to some of you that actually know me know the "other half" of the story.

Without further ado...

So today I get a package in the mail... You'd think I'd be excited to get a package, but I am not. I went outside in the freezing cold to take my dog out for her personal potty needs. Grabbed the mail from my mailbox and while walking up my driveway I see the package. I walk up to my front door and there it is, glaring at me.... A package from my mother, self portrait attached. I know there are a lot of you who get along with your families, I however, am not one of them....




I will digress a bit here for a little understanding here....

Short life history about JTL here...

  • My father passed away when I was 4. It's been extremely difficult to live with, but I have managed for over 23 years now. I have been wishing him back forever and it's just not happening. I look forward to the day that we will be together again.
  • My mom has been married a total of 3 times, the whore, she left my step-father of 7 years within an 8 hour period. Now she's married to some freak who's been there done that with everything. He even had gold teeth! Um, gross! But who am I to judge??
  • My sister and I have been on the fritz since 2000. She got pregnant on purpose at the young age of 18 and a senior in high school. I didn't approve, but again, who am I to judge? I wasn't raised to have children out of wedlock. But it does happen and it was becoming more socially acceptable. But my freshman year in high school was sort of a culture shock seeing kids my age having kids. But that's a whole new topic, and for the record I don't hold it against others who have had their children young or out of wedlock. I am just speaking on how I was raised. My apologies ahead of time if any of you are offended.
  • My sister wanted to break the news to me that she was pregnant on the day of my wedding... How lovely! And what a bitch! For my wedding gift she wanted to get me an ovulation predictor kit. I told her I didn't need and proceeded to ask if that's what she used to get pregnant and she shrugged her shoulders and tried to deny it... Yeah, whatever.
  • Well my mom and my sister moved out into an apartment when my mom decided to leave her second husband. They became best friends in a sense rather than a mother-daughter. There is a fine line between friendship and motherhood and my mom blatantly crossed it and ruined any authority she had over my sister. I saw it as a problem and voiced my opinion as I wasn't living at home anymore. So since I was out of the day-to-day happenings things were more apparent to me.
  • My sister and my mom had a hard time accepting the fact that I was with my boyfriend/fiance' at the time and I was happy, heaven forbid. They tried to make our lives a living hell and at times they did. After my now hubby lived in Wisconsin with me for 9 short months I made the decision to move to Ohio to make our lives better on many different levels.
  • My mom would call me long distance to yell at me about happenings back home and a month later I'd get a call about the phone bill!! What the fuck?!
  • My sister got pregnant on purpose for a second time Thanksgiving of 2001 after meeting my daughter for the first time. After delivering my nephew he passed away when he was 2 days old, God rest his soul. So my sister has had two children under the age of 20...
  • The thing that killed me about my nephew was the fact that my mom called me to tell me Alexander was born and I could tell something was wrong... You know how you can just tell; well yeah... that's what it was. So I had begun to drop plans with my family here at home to make an emergency trip back to Wisconsin. In the meantime I had tried to call my sister and she denied all of my phone calls. Get this, because I wasn't there for her in her pregnancy! What the fuck, again!! I wasn't in the room when you made that baby... What am I supposed to do?? Hold your hand?! You got yourself in the situation; I am there for you while you are in labor, get over it! Well after trying forever... I get a hold of her and she tells me she doesn't want me to come home to Wisconsin. Later on that night after canceling my trip reservations, my mom calls me and tells me Alexander had passed on. I then said, I can't be there... After talking to my favorite Aunt Renee (dad's sister) who has been a mother to me my entire life. She convinced me to come back home. I did. I came home for one reason and one reason only. For my nephew. I knew this would be the one and only time that I would be able to see him. I went to his funeral and the burial as I had missed the calling hours the night before. The hardest thing for me was they buried my nephew above my father's casket. Adults are buried at 6 feet and infants and children are buried at 4 feet. Well after my fathers final resting place for the last 20 years it was hard to see his soil disturbed. Very difficult to explain. Since that day I haven't talked to my sister... It's been over 3 years now...
  • Oh and I shouldn't forget... One week before my wedding... My sister spread rumours throughout my family that I was sleeping with a married man. My mother also believed her and helped her spread the happiness. What a great family I have??? I am taking applications to anyone who wants to adopt a shitty mother or sister!!
I leave the package outside until my hubby gets home and I tell him I need his help in making a decision. He's like what?? I told him we got a package from my mother... He's like do whatever you want... I tell him I am torn.I know what I am looking for in the box won't be there. But my mom made an effort to contact me for the first time in over 3 months and before that another 3 months. My sister got married in October and I didn't even get an invitation. Yeah, fuck you too... Nice to know where I rank... But it's your choice and your regret in the future.


After talking to the hubby I ask him to open it. Em and I are eating a little lunch and he's opening it... Inside is a letter addressed to me... He reads it as my stop-gap. After reading it the hubby says you should spend the $16 to send the package back to her... I then ask for the letter. As I skim the letter I read the following...

"I don't understand what your real intentions really are why would you want to hurt someone you love?"

I have no intentions of hurting anyone... I just want to be happy and if not talking to you or my sister is the resolution then so be it.

"It's real clear to me you don't care about me the way a daughter should. Even if you agree to disagree I would respect that but you don't even do that. My precious Em will never know me because you don't want her to know me."

Why should I have her know you??? You do nothing but compare her to my niece. Em is her own person and she will not compete for anyone's attention. Period.

"Em is so sweet, so innocent and so precious you get yet it. (Yes her writing here) She is not a toy and she is not a showpiece. Nor is she a possession. She is you." (Forgetting about the other half of her is her father....)

Possession?? Showpiece?? I could be JonBenet's mom, Patsy Ramsy, now! I have never viewed my child as anything other than my flesh and blood and the fact that you bring her into this letter in a such a callous way with no regard makes me want to vomit.

"Life is about family. That's what we teach our children. I respect your choices but I don't understand them and probably never will. It's sure sad when you have to someone down so you look good, and being so secretive. It's a shame when you have to be someone your not. Just being you is what it's really about. You haven't been honest with yourself... it starts from within. I pray for your beautiful family everyday. You have been so blessed... open your eyes."

I am who I am whether you like it or not... I have made conscious decisions for me and my family with no regrets. Honesty does begin with yourself... It just may not be what others want to see or hear. But to each his own and such as life. Pick up your pieces and move on.
She then closes her letter...
"JTL I am here for you I always have been and always will be if you should decide to share your life with me. The choice is yours. I just want you to treat me as I should be treated."

Hmmm... likewise beotch!

"Remember, I love you with all of my heart. Please give Em a big hug from US. GOOD BLESS YOU ALL HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE ALWAYS MOTHER AND RON (her mental husband) Then she writes love ya lots mom..."

This bitch is off her rocker!!
How the heck can you write such crap and then to wrap it up with I love you?? I understand we all need to get things off of our chests from time to time... But do you realize that when you write something in black and white with no deflection in your mannerisms (which I know hers) you can be perceived in the wrong way??? Why not man up and pick up the phone and talk?? With my mom though this was really the best way... You can call and hear her speak about her for at least an hour or more... You can't get in a word edgewise. She's the type that likes to hear herself talk... Hell, I have put the phone down and came back after going to the bathroom or something and she's still talking... Worse than the Energizer Bunny... I swear!!

I just don't understand where her thought process is... I believe my mom is bi-polar or needs some medication to straighten those few brain cells left in her brain... And fucking quit preaching to me about Jesus or God... I have my faith and I carry it with me every day. I don't need it shoved down my throat. You can't force-feed someone something they don't want to hear.

Oh! I almost forgot!!!! I just wrote about the letter! I didn't mention what she put in the box... On the right hand side was a huge pile of school work, projects, paintings, etc. that I made in elementary/middle school. There were cards that I drew for my mom telling her how I appreciated her as a mother and a father while growing up. I think those were sent to me for a reason. She then sent me a bible! A nativity set made out of popsicle sticks I made in church while growing up. There were report cards and pictures of me in my early years of school. Pictures of me while I was in dance... Pictures of my father. Pictures of my grandparents (mom's mom and dad). Obituaries.

On the left side, was a lot less cumbersome and there was a small package that included ornaments for our tree. Mom always sends those. It's a nice family tradition that I have passed along in my own family. Then a package to Em which I haven't opened yet. I am too afraid to open it... It could be a bomb for all I know... Talk about some serious hate mail! Should I open her package??

**Well I have finally opened up Em's package... Inside was 2 books about Christmas. I will be reading them tonight to her. A Pre-School activity set... Yeah have to look that over and a stuffed possum to go with one of her Christmas books. I guess it's better than nothing and it's really the thought that counts. This child has way too many toys and books will make her smarter in the future! So thanks mom for being thoughtful of my daughter's brain! *muah*

After writing this post I am unsure whether I am happy I wrote it or embarrassed of my dysfunctional family situation.... So please don't judge me or my own family. I assure you we have our moments, but nothing this mental. I think my next stop should be Jerry Springer or something!

To those of you who have made it through this post, I do appreciate your readership and dedication to me... I am the farthest thing from being selfish as most of you have realized in my blog... All of my closest personal friends can say that I (hope) am the most giving person. I'd give any of you my shirt off of my back if you needed it. Even in this weather!

Here's a big kiss in appreciation and NO it's not my lips or my lipstick! Thank goodness for Google Images!!

Who has the "best line"???

I received an e-mail from a client of mine with multiple pictures related to the weather, naming the awful snow we have been getting as of late.

So with this attached picture I want to hear your responses as to what was going on in this dudes head or what he said once he finally became ground-bound.

**And swear words are allowed... I do tend to have quite the potty mouth at times... So bring it on!!

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I Confess...





Ok, I just have been tagged by my friend CapnPlatypus or Cappy as I call him! The game is called I Confess and in all honesty it’s a pretty good game to pass on to others! Here goes nothing!!!

I Confess… that I have officially become somewhat addicted to BlogExplosion and the friends I have made there.

I Confess… I haven’t been good at returning calls to family and friends as of late.

I Confess… I haven’t even begun Christmas shopping!

I Confess… I would love to change my career.

I Confess... that I haven’t been 100% at my job for the past few months…
I Confess… that I can’t stand most of the people I work with.

I Confess… I forget to water my plants sometimes! No wonder why they look brown and sad!

I Confess… that I am totally anal about most things and when things don’t go my way inside I flip out.

I Confess… that I have tried, being the keyword, to get out of tickets. It doesn’t work…. Thankfully I am married to a police officer now!

I Confess… that I bought a calligraphy kit and tried to work on the workbook and returned it “semi-used”.

Wow… now I can say three hail Mary’s and I am washed of my confessions, I hope!

I am going to tag: Charles, Seawave, All Night, and Virtually Nicky for this… ‘Fess up!!!

Pay it Forward...

This evening I went to run some errands... Nothing Christmas shopping related. Just places I had to go! I can't wait until the holiday season is over for my sanity! I swear I am going to flip on someone one of these days and it won't be pretty!

Em and I ended up at Michael's to look for framing stuff for my niece. I finally found someone to do calligraphy for me and she is doing this poem for my niece which I wanted to give her at birth, but that didn't happen. So two months later it will finally come to fruition. So I guess I did do some Christmas shopping!! It is happening slowly but surely! Normally I am done by Thanksgiving, but this year I have been super busy that it just has been brushed off to the side burner. I ended up buying 3 frames, matting, and some silver things for the back of one of the frames. Me being the cheap person I know I had a coupon from our Sunday paper for 40% off of any non-sale item. Anything to save a buck, right? Well come to find out I forgot it in my truck. So while in line I am telling Em that we will have to go outside and get it. The lady ahead of me said, here you can have mine. I'd only save $.50 anyways...

Em then asked me why the lady gave me her coupon and I told her that she was being nice. Well I want to go back out to the car and get our own coupon. I politely told her that the lady was again being nice and we tell her thank you and Merry Christmas and that when the oppurtunity presents itself we will Pay it Forward...



*Thanks Irish Gal for reminding me of that movie and what it meant! I appreciate it!!

New Renter for the Week!

This post is a tribute to my girl Angie at Ficken Chingers... She's renting my blog and well... Admittedly she's stuck in the 80's so.... This is for you Ang!! :o)




1. You ever ended a sentence w/ the word "SIKE".
2. You watched Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to "Fresh Prince of Bel Air".
4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
5. You yearned to be a member of the babysitters club and tried to start one of your own.
6. You owned those lil Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on "Blossom".
8. Two words: M.C.Hammer.
9. If you ever watched Fraggle Rock.
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars. (HECK YEAH!!!)
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "DuckTales".
12. It was actually worth getting up on Sat morning to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.
15. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trailday in computer class.
16. You had a clip that held your shirt in a knot at the side.
17. You played the game MASH (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House).
18. You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it.
19. L.A.Gear... need I say more??
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in kindergarten.
21. You remember all of the Ramona books.
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF".
23. You wanted to be a Goonie
24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing (some head to toe)
25. You can remember what Michael Jackson REALLY looked like
26. You ever wondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf
27. You took lunch pals to school
28. You remember the CRAZE! , then the BANNING of slap bracelets
29. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence
30. Barbie and the Rockers were your fav band
31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up
32. You thoughtyour childhood friends would never leave you b/cyou exchanged friendship bracelets
33. You ever owned a pair of jelly shoes (and probably in neoncolors)
34. After Pee-Wee\'s Big Adventures you kept saying "I know you arebut what am I"
35. You remember "I\'ve fallen and I can't get up"
36. You remember skating before inline skates
37. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip-n-slide
38. Youhad a Skip-it
39. You had or attended a b-day party at McDonald's
40. You've gone thru this nodding your head in agreement
41. "Don't worry, Be happy!!"
42. You wore like 8 pair of socks over tights w/high top Reeboks.
43. You wore socks scrunched down.
44. ! "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK".
45. Boom boxes vs. Cd players
46. Both Gremlin movies
47. "CARE BEAR STARE!!!"
48. You remember Rainbow Bright and My Lil PonyTales.
49. You thought Doogie Howser was hot!
50. Alf, the furry brown alien from Melmac.
51. New Kids on the Block when they were cool.
52. Knew all the characters and their life stories in the ORIGINAL Saved By the Bell.
53. Know all the words to Bon Jovi- SHOT THRU THE HEART!
54. You just sang it to yourself! (I DID!!)
55. You remember when Mullets were cool.
56. You tight rolled your pants.
57. You owned a banana clip!

CE Class

Today (which was a week ago) I sat through almost 5 hours of continuing education (CE) for my job. For me to maintain my state licensures I have to attend a predetermined amount of hours of these classes over a compliance period otherwise I will lose my license. At times it isn’t a half bad idea!!

Today my class was bout financial statements… (Cue the crickets) My meeting was about an hour from my house. SO I am on the glamourous, posh, yuppie side of Cleveland. This particular event was held at the Holiday Inn, which was a relatively nice joint. Much nicer than others I have been to… Nicely decorated for the holidays with trees, wreaths, bows and such. I walk into class and am greeted by someone whom I used to work with some time ago… He doesn’t recognize me… thankfully! He failed where I am employed and created his new “schooling” business. (Good for him) There aren’t a lot of people in class yet, as traffic gets very heavy in these parts. There is a huge well-known insurance company domiciled in the area that employees well over 20,000 people.
So… I select a seat, full crop of them. About 10 minutes later there is another wave of people. I have 2 seats to my right and 1 to my left. First one to go was to a bitchy attorney that brought everything with her except her kitchen sink! Then next a “couple” comes in and sits down. Dude is quiet, doesn’t talk. Good man! But the lady… she couldn’t stop coughing! What the fuck?!?! If you are sick don’t sit next to people!! H-E-L-L-O!!! I can’t hold my breathe for 5 hours!!! What am I supposed to do?! I am sitting on the edge of my seat wanting to move elsewhere but it’s pretty crowded and I do like my space. I am holding my hands to my face thinking that it will block her germs. I quickly realize that my hands won’t block any contaminates from this chick, just make them spread more…

Break time! Discuss business… Can’t wait until the next break!

I come back to class site down and think about what I could be doing right now other than be sitting here. But I signed up for it. It’s official. I am a glutton. I love punishment. Nothing could be worse than my class on Environmental Issues… Give me a gun already!!

After all of this… I am not getting to my point. I love setting the stage! I look over to my right and mind you there’s approximately 50 people in class. It’s colder than holy hell in the room and I am a warm-blooded person. Today I even have a sweater on! A fucking girl is knitting a scarf! A FUCKING SCARF!! Why would you pay $90 to learn something you are forced to do…to make a scarf. I could buy 100 scarves for $90! But then again… I am writing this in class! Let me cross-stitch or crochet or hell; do wood working while I am at it!

--End Rant

Without further a-do...




Well after me talking and being somewhat obsessed over blogging, my husband has lept over to the blog-side. He has created his own blog about his own life and dealings with his job as a police officer. He has done two posts within 12 hours so I think he may like it.

I told him it’s nice to have people interested in what happens in your personal/professional life and to get comments is quite cathartic. It makes you feel like a “real” person. And that your thoughts and feelings about things are actually normal. I have looked at blogging as cheap therapy. It is my daily release from my day-to-day hustle and bustle of my life. But the friendships and the contacts I have made with all of you have been priceless and I thank every one of you!!

I am going to ask that you stop by my hubby’s blog and see what he has to say… He is not very politically correct to the easily offended. I guess after having to be politically correct in his profession with the uniform on he has to let some of the frustrations go somewhere.

Thanks a bunch!!!

Festive Picture Part II


My cutie pie in front of the Christmas Tree! Posted by Picasa

Festive Picture Part I


Mom and Emily in front of the Christmas Tree Posted by Picasa

Would you consider this global warming???

Miss Manners


I know nothing about the above book, just thought it was appropriate. Guess I don't even need to buy it!!


The other day at dinner I did the gregarious belch. What?! It was good food that I made, for a change, and I was proud of myself. I made my fair share of dinners for the month... The society we live in... I swear!

Before I even have more than a split second to think, the following conversation takes place...

Let me state the obvious here... (M= mom and D= daughter)

M- Belch!

D- Excuse you mommy!!

M- Thank you Em, my daughter's nick name.

D- Your welcome!

M- Can you give mommy the chance to say it next time?

D- Yes.

M- Thank you.

D- Your welcome.



As a parent I am a huge stickler about manners. It is very important that our children today respect their elders. I guess I have done a good job teaching my child as she now recognizes that you must excuse yourself... And, I must add... the bathroom is NO exception!

What a great compliment!




Who'd want this exam??

I'd imagine it'd feel better than the real thing...






This post is dedicated to my good friend RockyJay and Pikkel Weezel... You boobie lovers!

*Edited... Pikkel doesn't like boobies... Whoops! I should know better! Shame on me!

New digs for the week...

I have a new tenant... RockyJay...

Rocky is a cool dude with a great sense of humour and loves tits and ass... So all of you male readers click on the box to the left and you will likely get a glimpse of Rocky's favourite ass of the hour, day, or week.

He will be sticking around for a week, so give him a warm welcome!!!

Perfect day for flying a jet!

This picture was taken by a civilian friend of mine that works at Oceania Naval Airstation in Norfolk, Virginia.

He done lost his mind...


Ok... what's this all about?!?!

50 Cent Plans Sex Toy Line

Rapper 50 Cent is planning to release his own new line of condoms and sex toys.

The star, who already has a clothing line and a range of energy drinks, is planning to branch out into the lucrative sex market -- even creating a vibrator that looks just like him.

50 tells GQ magazine, "I need to make a 50 Cent condom, and a motorized version of me.

"A motorized version of me will definitely have to be waterproof, so you could utilize it in the tub. A lot of them (vibrators) aren't waterproof.

"Blue is my favorite color, so it would probably be blue. But I don't know how big. I don't know if big is better because I'm not sure a man wants his woman playing with a really big dildo.

"But I want to do something like that, to create something that's popular and exciting sexually for women."

--http://www.sfgate.com


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50 Cent Vibrators: The Rapper, Not the Amazon Products

It appears that we're about to take on even *more* competition in the sex toy market. Rapper 50 cent has been reported as saying “I need to make a 50 Cent condom, and a motorised version of me. A motorised version of me will definitely have to be waterproof, so you could utilise it in the tub. A lot of them (vibrators) aren't waterproof."

Now, I find it interesting that he delves into the issues most of us sex toy engineers have when building our products. Not a lot of people have the foresight to think that "I don't know if big is better because I'm not sure a man wants his woman playing with a really big dildo."

So batten hatches, boys, 'cause there's about to be a dildo driveby. Maybe, like the IGDA recommends, we could release a 50 Cent SexBox with the 50 Cent Vibrator for while you play the 50 Cent game. I'm sure just even mentioning this new, awesome level of consumer branding just gave an ad rep an explosive hardon somewhere.

--http://www.slashdong.org


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I guess he will take you to the "Candy Shoppe"... Who wouldn't want to "feel the love" of 50 Cent???


March of the Penguins...

To commemorate the March of the Penguins release… Here’s something I’d like to do to a few people I know…



It's a bit grainy, but still funny!!!

What a weekend...

Wow!! What a weekend I had!!

Thursday (Thanksgiving) we went to Kmart to get The Polar Express



and Madagascar movies for the little one...

Well after looking at Thursday's paper on Friday I saw that they were on sale cheaper at Target (Kmart does not pricematch, the bastards!)... So I venture back out to return the DVD's to Kmart...

It's Friday evening, I am on the highway headed towards Target and there was an accident on the same highways headed West-bound. I am going East-bound. There was a tow truck that made a U-turn in the birm from the West-bound traffic accident onto the East-bound lanes. Well this jackass decides to pull out in traffic and do oh... about 35-45mph. Who is prepared to stop/slow down to that speed while on the highway?? Not me! This dickhead ended up and caused an accident. The person that got into the accident chose to hit the cement median wall instead of me... Talk about having a guardian angel of some sorts watching over me.

In the end, it was worth it... I ended up and saved $15. I am such a cheap bastard!

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On Saturday I took my daughter to see Chicken Little I really didn't like the movie... I almost fell asleep watching it. Granted there was your "classic" adult innuendos, but nothing like other movies I saw. My daughter thought it was funny because the catch phrase in the movie is the sky is falling, but it was pretty stupid. Please save your money and rent it. I really wanted to see Zathura, but lost... Oh, well maybe next time.

The one thing I couldn't believe is how damn expensive it was to see a matinee! $11.50 for admission, not bad... Then I sprung for popcorn and a soda $9.25!! Holy shit! I seldom go to the movies, and now I know why!!






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Saturday night we finally mustered it up to go shopping for the house. We built our house 4 years ago and everything seems to be falling apart at once! I guess that is pride in ownership! You own your home and you have to be broke right before the holidays! So within the last month, my garage door opener and dishwasher has crapped out on me. Two necessities in my world. Who washes dishes by hand anymore?! Not me! We went to Lowe's to support Jimmy Johnson's racing team since my one of my favourite racers, Tony Stewart, won the NASCAR Cup for the Home Depot Racing Team!! So we go in the appliance area looking for a dishwasher... I am looking in my price range and see one on clearance, like I said... I am cheap! Then there was another one on sale not on clearance, both similar. I see three people chit-chatting away in the department, not paying attention to me what-so-ever. So I give one of the kids, the look, you know the look... Get your ass over here before I beat it look... Yeah... He came in a hurry. Can I help you Miss? Um, yeah... I want this dishwasher. I am sorry but we don't have any left. Ok, then why do you have this "sticker" (clearance one) here? Well we might get more in. Ok... Do you upgrade to the next model for the same price if you are out of a model a customer wants? Without hesitation, No. Hmmmm... I could go to your competitors and they'd gladly do it for me in a second. Do you want to sell a dishwasher or no? Yes, Miss... At this point he walks away because another customer needed help. What timing to leave when I am steaming as it is... So another punk kid comes over and I re-explain myself. Bad idea at this point! So I ask him... Do you know what you are talking about here? Are you willing to help me? He obliged and said Yes! Ok, maybe I have some luck here. I again ask about the whole upgrade thing... He got pissy with me and asked some dude that works in their cabinetry department. I can see the co-relation here... Cabinets--dishwashers... They do go hand-in-hand you know!! This guy is a bit older and not as cocky as the little punks helping me before. I had asked about the whole price tag being out if they don't have any left and the second punk kid said if it will make you feel better I will move it now. Oooh it was on then... I ended up and purchased it after being pissed. I knew once I was done in appliances that I would end up talking to a manager... The service provided was terrible and I won't stand for that. I am coming to spend a nice chunk of change and I want service damnit!

I head to the front of the store and end up talking to the store manager and guess what?? He gives me 10%, which is better than nothing, off of my entire purchase for
the evening. Well little did he know I had a nice list! We ended up and bought a nice Genie Garage Door opener, new Shower Head, and my dishwasher. We saved about $80 which is better than nothing!

Sorry this was soooo long... Just been a few days since I posted...