You sexy thing!

Every year with my Fraternal Order of Police Auxiliary (FOPA) Lodge we have a fundraiser. We call it our Annual Reverse Raffle. The tickets per couple are $85 and $60 for a single ticket. With these tickets you have a chance to win $3,000. Included in your night is a family style dinner including the following: dinner salad, chicken, ham, and beef as your meat(s). As sides there is a pasta dish, vegetable medley, potatoes, and desert. Also you have a partial bar all you can drink and dancing. It's not a bad deal for the price. Also during the night there are side-boards that you can bid on for $1-$5 and have different "jackpots" that are paid out.

As another way for the FOPA to raise money is to have gift baskets. As Vice President of FOPA Lodge I have been given the fun job of doing a fund raising basket(s) for our reverse raffle in November. I have had the second and third most profitable baskets in previous years being the sports basket I normally call the Browns Tailgating Basket. In the Tailgating basket, I had an autographed football, grill, chips, salsa, and Browns memorabilia. The other is a game basket with many board and card games you can think of. Those two have always been fun to do…

Now, this year I get to put together the most profitable basket. I am very excited. Some of you may ask the theme, and I will gladly share as it should be everyone’s guilty pleasure.

We call it the Sex Basket. In this basket in previous years have been the Karma Sutra book, boas, champagne glasses, wine/champagne, an evening at a hotel, body paint. This year I am going to step it up a notch. I want to include actual videos (and yes the fun kind), battery operated toys and sex games to name a few. I was thinking about putting some dirty magazines in there as well. I mean we are amongst company of police officers here. There is no need to be subtle about anything. We all know they talk like little “piggies”, no pun intended. I think I am going to rename my basket the Sultry Sex something or other. I want to make this the most profitable basket, ever. With my mind, I believe I will accomplish this quite easily.

I wonder if I should try to could collect donations?

Happy Birthday Jetting Through Life!!

Well it's been awhile... I just have been very busy at home and work and have had to put my relaxation vice to the side for a bit.

I did however want to wish my site a Happy Birthday as I have been blogging for over a year. And I still enjoy doing it!

Here's to many more birthdays! Cheers!!

Go Packers!!! Oops, I mean Browns...

Thursday afternoon my boss asked me what our family was doing on Friday night. I said nothing much. He then asked if we wanted to go to the Browns game. Um.... YEAH! Free tickets and free parking is a real good thing!! He told me he has to make a phone call and he would be back. About five minutes come by and he said you will be receiving a package from Bob via UPS with your tickets. My boss was telling me that they were really good tickets on the 45-50 yard line. BONUS!

I call my hubby and tell him our opportunity and he's all grumpy and says no. He doesn't want to go. I can take someone else with me. Well I had been to a game a few years ago with a friend and he was very jealous, so I knew that wasn't going to fly again. We hang up and I call back in an hour or so.

Hubby answers and he's a bit more receiving of my call this time. I begin to literally sell him already free tickets. I told him it's a once in a lifetime opportunity and there's no way in hell I will buy tickets to a game since you have to pay a licensing fee for seating called a PSL. I told him to let me know. I get a call back and he says he's going.

Then begins a fucking fiasco of finding someone to go with us. Granted it's short notice, but um.... It's free tickets to a sporting event. One of our friends found it more important to pick up his drumset. Other friends already had plans, which is totally understandable.... Prior engagements are respectible. We finally found one of the guys that he used to work with to come with us. Thankfully!! These tickets were $250 a piece! Next to the loges, these are the most expensive seats in the house. (Click here for a view from our seats -- Section 333 -- Pink area -- Click picture to make larger) Kinda made me wonder if I was actually handing out $250 cash. Ya know?

While I have the other half sold I am beginning to get resistance from Emily. She doesn't want to go. She's NOT a Browns fan. She likes the Packers and that's it, end of story. I guess I did a good job brainwashing her or something. I now have to sell my 5 year old to go to the game. I tell her mommy likes both and there's nothing "wrong" with that. Em is whining.... I finally put my foot down and say you are 5 and you are coming with me whether you like it or not! Ugh!!!!

I hadn't been to the luxury or club seating in the stadium since before it was completed. I worked for the general contractor Huber, Hunt and Nichols, now known as Hunt Construction Group, during part of the build of the project and was lucky enough to get a few tours.

We walk through the stadium head to the Club Seating section and it is a world in itself. There are full service bars, private restrooms at every section, gourmet food and beautiful view of the lake. Then we get to our section and walk to our seats. It was heaven! The seats we had were better than any big screen. And I could actually read the jerseys!!!!

During the game Em was very aggressive. She was yelling for the players to GO!! Then she started shouting GO PACKERS!! I wanted to slither onto the ground out of embarassment. The crowd was very well to do in our general area and I felt like a total moron. But after a dozen times or more telling her it is the Browns, she caught on.

We left with 8 minutes left in the 4th Quarter. "Chomps" the mascot came by and Em ran right up to him and she wanted her picture taken. Clearly you can see not only did Mom, Dad and our guest had a good time, but Emily did too!!!

Friday Funny (v.35)

A moment to vent...

I am not the best looking of the bunch and I know that...

But why do the unattractive /not well groomed people drive sports cars????? If your belly touches your steering wheel, your ass hangs over the seat, you are missing teeth or heaven forbid have a mullet (excluding Greg)... Keep it in the garage!!

If you are a car salesmen and sell cars that are not proportionate to the buyer you should be fired!!!

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Friday Funny (v.34)

Yesterday I was having some work done at the car dealer. A blonde woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. They all looked at each other, and the Mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there. "The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had the hood u! p and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there." Click here to learn the identity of the mysterious 710:

Thanks "Miss Rita" for the great e-mail!!


Why.... Oh why would someone spend several dollars for personalized plates when you have no creativity in you whatsoever!!!

I drove past some dipshit driving a Honda Accord with his plate saying "A HONDA" and some other bright winner driving a Toyota Yaris with the ever creative plate "YARIS". Or how about "BOOBUSH"?? What a way to waste money making a political statement when he will be out of office soon. He's President, get the fuck over it!! ARGH!

Idiots, I swear...

I think the Bureau of Motor Vehicles should smack the dipshits who apply for stupid plates like this!


Friday night marked my official beginning of being a volunteer parent. My volunteer duties for the next eight years will be bingo and other secondary things that may come up.

My daughter will be attending a private school at the end of the month. Her school essentially relies on bingo players and their donations. The monies that are made pay for the school to run, the teachers salaries, equipment, half of their school supplies and half of their tuition.

My Friday was rather busy as I had a lot jam packed into one day. *Note to self, don’t schedule so many things to do in one day* My morning started off at 6AM. I had to be to the East side of Cleveland for an early appointment. I then had a lunch meeting followed by my newest thing to do… BINGO!

I was about 20 minutes late to church for bingo. I walked in and there were a lot of people waiting to get their cards and "instants", much like an instant lottery ticket. I had to fight through some people and wait in line to meet the woman in charge. After a quick introduction she assigned me to my post. I met Bob and Ginny. Bob was going to show me the ropes for bingo. I started asking questions and the immediate assumption was that I knew how to play bingo. Um, WRONG! I know how to play "regular" bingo, but not the pro stuff. I admitted I didn't'’t know how to play and some guy about my age chimed in that it was sacrilegious. Yeah, ok… I do have a life!

Bob told me what to do twice then disappeared. His wife Ginny was there, but she was helping my sister-in-law, so I was pretty much alone. Bingo players are psycho. Do not let anyone else tell you differently. They are part of an underground sub-culture. It is scary. A lot of these people are hardcore. While I had players come up to me and ask me for the winning cards. I just politely nod my head and say good luck and thank you. I then see players that have their own karma. Much like how you have a rabbit’s foot for good luck, these players bring anything just shy of the kitchen sink. These players would bring: framed pictures of their pets, grandchildren, children, stuffed animals, and small figurines. I can say that the players do take playing very seriously as this is the only legalized form of gambling in Ohio. So in a sense, it’s like blowing your dice while in Sin City.

During my evening I noticed how crazy people do act. I was able to sell more bingo cards using some of my sales techniques, which was funny. The players seemed to be putty in my hands. Then I had made a "mistake" unbeknownst to me selling some loose paper and this woman came up to me calling me Miss, Miss, MISS followed by accusatory statements. I quickly remedied the situation, as I didn't want this freak going postal on me. I had many people literally throw bills at me. It was weird to see the level of respect the people had towards volunteers. I had about a half dozen women come in that were grossly obese with oxygen tanks on. As I watched them suck their air from the oxygen tanks searching their purses for more money all of them had several packs of cigarettes in there. That makes no sense to me! Why when you are breathing in the freshest form of air available to us are you smoking? People amaze me and not in the good sense.

My cell phone had been in a no service area all evening as the part of the building I was in was all concrete blocks. I stepped out of my area for a bit and received avoicemail and text message. The text said if you can, come outside. I walked outside and there was my hubby and daughter sitting in the parking lot. She stuck her head out and the first thing I see is her upper lip. It is so fat it is touching her nose. I have no reaction in me other than what the heck happened. It was explained to me thatenm was jumping in the pool backwards and she didn't jump out far enough and she hit her face on the edge of the pool. She was ok, in shock, but ok. I was happy her teeth were still in her mouth. But all I could think on the inside was tomorrow we are taking her to see a client to go horseback riding (future post) and she looks "broken". I said that I would let Em sleep with me during the night and I would be home really soon.

Iwalked into the gymnasium to the psycho bingo players and I said a prayer. I hoped that the rest of the evening would go by quickly so I could get home to my baby girl as she did need her mommy. It sucks being torn between two different places at once, but my place was home. And within an hour I was home with her.

I have decided that I will go to bingo and play one time to get an understanding of what the whole fuss is about with these weirdos! I will be going in a few weeks on a Friday night. The excitement is almost killing me!

I must remember that I am doing this for the little person below!!

Blogger Issues

I am still here... Everytime I go to post my connection gets all screwy and I lose my post. Tomorrow there will be a new one for sure!

Your patience is much appreciated!

Friday Funny(ies) (v.33)

In light of our hellish gas prices...

The Replacement

Well it's official, finally. I am getting old. I went to the dreaded dentist today to have fillings replaced. Yes, replaced. My fillings are going on their second life while I am still on my first.

It's been 12 hours since my filling was replaced and my damn tooth is still very sore.... I gave into taking Tylenol Rapid Release at about 4PM. So I fought through the pain quite well. But I am too afraid to chew on anything on the right side of my mouth. There's nothing better than having your mouth jacked open for 45 minutes. Ugh!

Let's bask in the golden years! My teeth are going to need an AARP card before my actual body!