While I was pregnant I was offered all kinds of advice for my future child, I also had freaks trying to pet my stomach.
Now... as a parent with a new baby when in public I am constantly approached. It is nice the first few times, but everywhere I go? My daughter gets these oagling eyes from strangers. They want to touch her. Hell, I had a woman totally put her head in her car seat while sitting in a grocery cart. Ewwww.... I am afraid that if I blink my eyes or turn my head some freak will take her.
I am inundated with questions like the following:
How old is s/he? -- First of all dip shit... She is wearing PINK or PURPLE. Those colors mean GIRL!
How much did she weigh? -- She was 6lbs 3oz. OH MY GOD! She is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo little... Yes there is that emphasis on SO. No she is average. She is not the big huge baby your sisters husbands brothers wife had. This is my child and she is healthy.
What's wrong with her? -- Nothing, she is petite.
She's so tiny! Was she a preemie? -- No damnit! She is FINE!
Did you have a c-section or vaginally? -- I answer this with much hesitation as it is no ones business if my child came out of my stomach by a beautiful incision or out of my crotch. But the answer is c-section.
How are you healing? -- Just fine thank you. I had some major complications which are none of your business.
Where did you deliver? -- Does it matter? What would you say if I said it was my back yard or it was by an unlicensed practitioner? JEEZUS!
How long were you in labor? I really wasn't...
--And this is when it gets freaky--
What does your stomach look like? Because mine looks messed up? -- It's not very attractive. I just had a baby? How the hell do you answer that? Here, wanna see?
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I have been bleeding for 6 months after my daughter was born. -- Like I really need to know whats going on with you. Call a doctor, really, please.
When you come up to me either when I am alone with baby or with my family, yes, you are interrupting me. A simple excuse me would be nice... Please don't chase me down or quit working at your station to follow me around the store. We are not there for your entertainment. If I am considered entertainment I will begin charging an admission. I am trying to run errands, shop, dine at a restaurant. I don't have time to bullshit for 30 minutes. New parents these days are really very skeptical of literal strangers approaching them and their young, be cautious and like with animals, make sure you ask before you pet.
Allison and I thank you!
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