While in high school I was always the girl without a boyfriend. I was often time the third wheel. When my "best friend(s)" at the time found someone it meant I was kicked to the curb and became "second" class until an argument occurred or they broke up. I was always the shoulder to cry on. I was the cheerleader to give them the encouragement they seemingly needed to get back in the dating game.
My really good high school friend, K really hurt me... She did this to me repeatedly and the day our Prom came my date (who ended up being her now-husband) came in between us. I set the two of them up and I pretty much walked away because I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I couldn't deal with the fact I felt like a nobody.
I have another good friend of mine, M who was the opposite. She wanted to include me in part of her relationships. She wanted her boyfriends to like me. It was weird to have a friend that actually cared about me.
Well fast forward to now... I have a friend A, who is recently divorced. Her ex told her he wanted a divorce Mother's Day 2007. I remember the day because I was still in the hospital and she called me crying and a total mess.
From that day on I was there for her... We talked on the phone several times a day. We talked via instant message nightly until all hours of the night. I literally was there 24/7 if she needed me. Mind you she doesn't even live in the state. She got into a car accident and I would have left work if I could to be there for her...
She has been back in the dating scene which is wonderful and I am truly very happy for her. The downside is when she meets someone she likes she instantly becomes obsessed with them and seemingly doesn't give them space. With that happening she totally falls off the face of the earth with zero communication at all. She was dating this dude in the military and he totally mooched off of her and I pretty much had to break it to her that he was taking advantage. While I felt really bad telling her this I couldn't have her carry this relationship for a piece of ass. Now she's sleeping with her newest room mate. So that means essentially all ties will be broken until one of two things happen... 1. He pisses her off. 2. He moves.
While I want nothing more for A to be happy I can't be that one little toy in the toy box she comes back to when she's bored. I want to tell her gently that her in actions hurt. Em asks about her constantly as she's her godmother. What do I say? She's too busy to call? I asked her when her and her room mate became more of an item that she doesn't fall off the face of the earth... She said she would try not to. Yeah, right! So a part of me, yes is mad and a little bitter. But wouldn't you be? In fact my hubby has noticed it and has said something in which is seldom says stuff like that. He is a "whatever" guy... whatever goes.
Does a friend of 10 years do that? Is this normal?
I don't want and flames for comments as this is truly hard for me to write because it is super personal, but I just need to get it off my chest.
Any suggestions?
It hurts...
Subscribe to:
Comment Feed (RSS)
|