The puzzle of life...

Today I have noticed something regarding my daughter... I went to pick her up from Grandma's as I normally do. Today was different, she was sitting contently at the table putting together a puzzle. I think to myself, my crazy, "psycho" child concentrating long enough to put together a puzzle?? I sit down next to her and watch what she is doing.

She is in her own world finding her inner peace. She is relaxing. All to hard for me to believe.

She has been pretty interested in puzzles as of late, but I thought it was a "fad" thing for her to do. She has never been entertained by anything for a long period of time, ever. In fact a few weeks ago I bought her a puzzle, just because I am a "cool" mom.

Tonight during dinner we were discussing my observations of her putting together the puzzle this afternoon. In conversation I said I do not have the patience for puzzles. I seek instant gratification in doing puzzles. They give me headaches. I can't sit for prolonged periods of time to work on them. It is soooo frustrating to me. So I choose not to do it. My husband on the other hand seeks solice working on puzzles. Yet again, another trait my daughter has of her daddy. When is she going to like things I do?!

While we were discussing puzzles, Em excuses herself and brings down a puzzle, the one I bought her most recently. She wants to put it together with her daddy. I sit and watch her... I watch the determination in her mind and her spirit. Her eyes are the size of quarters. She bites her lip. Her level of concentration is all her own. She is problem solving no matter how small of a task it is.

As I watch her brings tears to my eyes as I am seeing my little girl grow up. She's thinking on her own. She's problem solving. She's putting the pieces together of her "life", all 24 pieces. As she grows the puzzle sets will get greater in number reflecting her own personal growth. Her strengths and weaknesses. Pretty soon it will be 50, 100, 250, 500, 1,000 or more (??) pieces, which are all personal accomplishments.

This is all hard for me to accept as children are not supposed to grow up in a mother's mind. I still remember how she used to fit in my arms like a glove. I used to keep track on her growth by putting her in my arms. Now she's an amazon and hangs all over when I carry her like a baby. Children are always supposed to need mom for something... I know the needs will change as she grows, but it's hard to let go.

I will be there for Em, always. I will be there for her to help her put the pieces together, to pick up the pieces when they fall and lastly bond those pieces together for the foundation that is her.