Toilet Monster...

A few days ago while at work I had to go to the bathroom, fancy that!! I did my deed; number one for those who really need to know! As I am preparing to flush the toilet I have this routine... I quickly balance myself as I flush with my left foot. I refuse to touch the handle, as I get creeped out by germs. You'd be surprised at how many people that don't wash their hands! GROSS!!!

I center myself to flush the toilet and lift my left leg up and lose my balance a bit and lean forward. Leaning forward to some may not be a problem to some, but specifically to me that day it was bad... I had my good mechanical pencil Bic Velocity, clipped onto my red tailored shirt. I leaned over just a bit to get my balance back and the pencil quickly became unclipped to my shirt and made its decent into the swirling waters below.

At this point I am at a personal battle with myself trying to decide if I should stick my hand in there to get it or not... this lasts a few seconds... All the while, I am talking to myself in the bathroom stall saying... "I can't believe this just happened. I can't believe this just happened." Now if you were sitting on the John in the next stall what would you be thinking?? Well, there was someone sitting in the stall next to me. So here I am feeling like a total ass because first of all my pencil went for a swim and then I am talking to myself. I hear her snickering... So I am cracking up at this point because this whole situation is hilarious!

The toilet finishes its flush... So I continue to stand there watching the toilet... Hoping that my pencil will come back and I could at least throw it away or something. Well it doesn't. I walk out of the stall saying, "Well I guess it's not coming back."

That is when the girl next to me says something... "Oh, you lost something?" Yeah what the fuck do you think happened??? MORON! I didn't say that out loud, but it's what I was thinking, that's for sure!

I am now thinking, I hope that stall doesn't get backed up or anything. I'd be the cause of it. I mean pencils aren't very pliable. So going through all of the plumbing could be a tenuous task. I proceed to wash my hands and bolt out of there quickly. There was only one audible witness to my brush with the bathroom!

I guess the good part about the whole situation is the lead in the pencil was number 2!!!