A trip to remember…

Over the weekend I decided that I would do something that I haven’t done in a long, long time (like 10 years)… Go to an adult bookstore… Heck, there was one recently built near my house and I see it everyday.

I have been tempted to go there for a while now, just to take a peek! I mean the name of the place even makes you wonder and want to check it out. Sooo… the family gets home and I say… let’s go here! My hubby says we can’t go with Em… So I said I’ll go! I mean what the heck do I have to lose?? So I drop them off and traipse back to the “store”, as I will call it.

I drive the few seconds and pull in, park and this place used to be a Payless Shoe store so there are big glass windows that you can see in. It’s not like your Main Street shops where the windows and doors are darkened… You can clearly see in which was a bit weird, but um, ok… So I park where you can’t see my vehicle… I didn’t want to look like a total pervert with Fraternal Order of Police license plates… So out of respect for my hubby I was a good wife and parked out of plain site!

So I walk in the store… There are those security “things” that are at stores like Target, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, etc… To my left there is a glass counter three sided and a male kid, I say kid because he looked barely over 18… Maybe 18, plus a few hours… He stands up and says I need to see your ID… Does it look like I am younger than 18? I have never “looked” 18… I have always looked older which has been helpful at times. So I take it as a compliment with me being the old fart that I am and flash my ID to him. In my wallet I have my hubby’s badge next to it… So here I thought that would work. Um, no… He says I need to scan it. What?! Ah, ok… I take it out and he scans my ID into their system. So now my information is floating around in this system that I am sick pervert! I am thinking to myself… Is he going to show up at my house and follow up on any purchase? Is my personal information going to be sold somewhere? Does this information wind up to the local law enforcement agencies, The Feds… Yes paranoia set in for a few moments. Then the guy said, my name is Steve or whatever… If you have any questions, please let me know. Um… ok! Gotcha, thanks! Again, I am thinking to myself… What does this kid know that I wouldn’t?? So I smile and carry on…

In the front part of the store there are just your normal Spencer Gifts type gifts, gags, giggles, and etc. Then you had your play outfits, garters, fishnets, and shoes… Moving onto the dominatrix stuff… Whips, chains, and everything else you can think of for that type of genre of sexual play. Moving onto sexual accessories… They now have the medicine balls used in physical therapy and Pilates being marketed as sex aides to throw your partner into various positions. Sex swing will become obsolete before long!! Then there was this 6 inch foam mat thingy that had wedge accessories for various positions which seemed a bit enticing, but not for roughly $200!!

So I head back to the partitioned area…. One-way in, one-way out... In this area is where all of the naughty stuff is… Well hidden!! To your left is a small area of videos and magazines… I didn’t even bother to look at those… Two-dimensional just isn’t fun! To the right is all of the “toys”. It’s been awhile since I have seen toys… There were all different kinds of things, but the one thing I saw I couldn’t believe my eyes… I was going to take a picture with my camera phone, but didn’t want to get in any kind of trouble was this double ended dildo… Yes… We have all seen them, but this one was like no other!! It was about 3 feet long and the ends were bigger around than the biggest part of a baseball bat!! I almost collapsed in pain just from seeing this thing. Who on earth could “take” that??? After seeing that and the rest of the stuff back there all I could do was laugh, giggle like I just turned 18! It was hilarious! (I would have put a picture, but couldn't find anything suitable)

I end up leaving and getting back into my SUV laughing my head off! I go home and have a great story to tell the hubby!! If only he could have seen that “thing”!!

I guess I am getting too old for some of the newer things out in the adult market!!